omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
