So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
