Whod you bang
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
