so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
