You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
