If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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