I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
