she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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