I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
