my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Randomize
