so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
