For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
