Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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