the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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