I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
