your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
