In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
