You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
