i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
