He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize