theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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