I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
