Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
