And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
