Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
