My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
