So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
