So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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