I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize