butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
