am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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