ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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