I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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