I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
