Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
