Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
