butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I don't think brook has ever known best
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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