I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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