Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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