I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
