Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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