I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
