Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We have started to decorate penises.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
