my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
