Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
