i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
