tell your sister to shave her snatch
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
