Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i think i just lost a toe
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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