I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
