Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Still dying that you shit outside
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
