i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
