they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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