just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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