It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
