I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
