Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
