Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
