Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
