the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
