Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
