So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Sorry my hands just texted you
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
