Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
It was confusing and full of hummus
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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