I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
